so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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