The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
