I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
