You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
