you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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