I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
