If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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