I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
