im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
