Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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