therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
