I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
