Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i believe in u and ur pee
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