A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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