Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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