And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm passing your future prison.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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