are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize