You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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