Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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