Tell her she can't have a vagina
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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