I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
