After last night, I could never be a politician.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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