Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
how drunk are you?
Several
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
