you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
