Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
