Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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