All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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