Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
