I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
