i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
