You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
