Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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