I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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