direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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