It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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