Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
