can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
