I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
