My nipple is on Facebook.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
