The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
