you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
