Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
