Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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