I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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