Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There r osticjed everywhere
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
