but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The power of my boobs compel you
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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