so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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