I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
