Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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