Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
