My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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