Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
