I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
