i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
