This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
