oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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