He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
