theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
