what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize