but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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